Monday, March 19, 2012

Why are we given difficult situations?

What if we were given difficult situations and difficult people for one reason only…yes, they challenge us and make us grow…yes, they bring us the lessons we need…yes, they bring on change...and with the growth, the lessons and change, most importantly they challenge us into a space of truth.

So what does it mean for us to be in our truth? We hear it all the time…step into your truth…speak your truth….be true to yourself…Do we actually grasp what it means to be in our truth?

Well before we look at what our truth is…let’s look at what it’s not. When we are out of truth we may be doing the following:

People please
Say yes when we mean no
Do things which are against our integrity
Stay in a career which is unfulfilling
Stay in a relationship which is making you unhappy
Worry about what other people think about you
Worry that you may upset others with your works or actions
Worry that others may not understand you
Keep quiet to keep the peace
Avoiding conflict
Allowing a person to block you from something which is important to you
Making excuses for  yourself
Not working and living on purpose
Noting giving ourselves what we need to be happy and healthy…this means not eating what we know is good for us
Not being with the people which make us happy
Not doing the things we know are right for us like exercising, being in nature, meditating etc.
Not following through on good ideas
Not following your heart and intuition
Not saying what you want to say in fear of hurting someone or having a fear of
Abandonment, judgment or rejection

So if you are thinking, OMG I can tick almost all of them, don’t worry because the thing is it is easy to be out of truth. It is almost our natural default mode for most of us.  It is easier to be unhappy, unfulfilled, insignificant and quiet. Being in truth requires action and action requires risk and risk requires COURAGE. After all, you now know my personal mantra…Happiness is not for chicken sh*ts! And worst of all, there are consequences for when we are out of truth…
Missed opportunities
Missed relationships
Missed moments to shine

When I look back at my life and I look at all the times which bring me my most pain, the times I wish I could change, those are the times when I was out of truth and actually just living in fear.

And here’s the key…until we learn what it means for each of us individually to be in our truth, life, the universe, G-d or whatever higher power you believe in, will keep on brining you situations which help you get closer and closer to your truth. In each challenge we have the choice to learn the lessons, gain the clarity and step into the place of truth. We have the choice to move towards our truth in every moment or we have the choice to stay the same or stagnate. And the consequence is revealed through our feelings- regret, frustration, self anger, shame, guilt and fear. Yep, the “Big 6” are clear signs we are not in truth.

Every time we feel we let ourselves down we know we are out of truth. And what happens over time of letting ourselves down is that we lose site of who we truly are, we lose the knowledge of what we want and what is good for us; we lose the feeling of self worth- we give up valuing ourselves, we stop trusting ourselves and respecting ourselves and we give up on our morals and what we know is right or wrong. We surround ourselves with layers and layers of what we are not, so it is no wonder we feel disconnected, lost, isolated and confused.

So life becomes stressful, frustrating, incomplete, and people become intimidating, blocking, irritating and maybe even bully us. Life feels empty and meaningless and we become demotivated, disinterested, and disempowered, lacking energy and focus to do anything. Life feels painful and we feel stuck. Change seems impossible and too far away.

But there comes a time when there is more pain in staying the same then there is to change. Where the loss of letting yourself down speaks louder then the reasons for not being in your truth. This is the moment when we use the magical word…

ENOUGH!

Enough playing small, enough letting myself down, enough regret, enough shame, enough blame, enough fear, enough loneliness. When you get to the point of, ENOUGH, you begin to seek your truth…YOU ARE READY!

You are ready to step into your truth, to live life on your terms and to create the best version of yourself. Instead of people pleasing we turn to self pleasing, instead of feeling self loathing we move towards self love.

So what does it mean to step into your truth?

Truth is our essence. So to step into our truth means we now discover the steps to develop our essence. The best way to develop your essence is to get clear on your values- know your core values and what matters most. Values like:

           
Integrity          Honesty                      Clarity             Wisdom
Courage         Faith                            Peace             Happiness
Grace              Compassion              Honour           Joy

To get clear on your values ask yourself the following question…
What are the emotions I want to experience on a  consistent daily basis?
This will be the opposite emotion to when you are in fear and out of truth. For example you can spend your energy in anger or you can move yourself towards compassion which will ultimately feel better and give you that sense of truth and peace. The more you experience compassion the more calm you will feel and this will be the sign you need to know you are in truth.

So your values are you moral code of conduct. They are your internal guidance system or your own internal GPS to direct you towards your essence. And the more you honour your essence and your values, which means making moment to moment choices from your essence mindset, the more you will move towards being the person you want to be and know you are. This becomes your truth. And because we take ourselves out of our comfort zone of fear, our lives take on a new direction.

The best part of living in your truth is the signs we begin to see around us. Suddenly we are surrounded with synchronicity. We begin to meet the right people, have the right conversations and be guided towards the right places. These series of synchronicities let you know you are now on path.

And once we surrender to these synchronicities, we develop a great sense of trust- we trust ourselves to make the right moment to moment choices and when we trust ourselves we trust our world around us. We feel safe and in safety we thrive!

So, go on… challenge yourself…break your patterns of fear and all the behaviors keeping you out of truth…define your values…get clear how to align yourself with these values…make decisions from those values and begin to discover the magic of truth, knowing that the longer you stay out of truth the universe is simply going to keep on bringing you situations to challenge you back into your truth. The cycle will keep going until you decide to stop! So surrender…The truth always triumphs in the end.

To your truth and freedom with lots of love,

Cheryne Blom
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